This is the latest thought from a Houston songwriter. Proceed with caution.
First off, understand my background. I was raised around women. I got Aunties and sisters and cousins and I’ve seen them handle business. I don’t know a life where women have limits on what they can do. I’m not talking about because they are mooching, I’m talking about because they are fearless and smart. All throughout school and my working career I’ve watched women do everything that men can do with no added effort. I’ve had female bosses and co-workers that were way more capable than me. I’ve also seen other people try to play women for cheap. With this understood, note that I understand that men and women are different, but women are a lot more capable than most people give them credit for.
This is one of the reasons why it seems like I treat women badly. I don’t treat them bad. I treat them like a human. If a man starts loud talking and being disruptive, then somebody gets on they ass. If a woman does this, most people just let her make it. But I’m the one that gets on her ass. Because she don’t have to act like that. She’s capable of a lot more and everybody around her is crippling her by playing the “That’s how women are” card. If we treated men like this they would be fucked up too. You let a man go around terrorizing everybody without gettin on his ass and watch how lazy he’ll be. Most of the biggest changes I’ve ever seen have came at the hands of a woman. I’ve seen a women work 2 or 3 jobs just to have enough money to help her mom out. I’ve seen a woman start building a storage room and turn it into a house. I’ve often had to depend on women to get work done in my career. I KNOW the capabilities of a women once she takes those shackles off.
Being a woman is not an excuse to play the victim every time you have relationship issues. Stop being dumb and messing wit trash. Don’t say there’s a glass ceiling at work or you can’t find a job. You don’t have a criminal record you can find a fuckin job you’re just lazy. You don’t have friends because you’re a terrible friend to people. It’s not because you’re a woman. Stop being fake and maybe you can get genuine friendships. You can get up and go to work too. You can go to school and save the world too. You can start a business and change the economy too. You can go to work, raise your kids with manners, and be a role model all at the same time. I stay we stop treating women like barbies and let em know that we all in this thang together now. No excuses over here. Pretty harsh right? Stop being a bitch.
These days there are plenty to do. Just your phone alone can keep you busy for hours. Facebook, Tumblr, twitter, Vine, games, youtube, etc. Then you got video games, movies, music, fantasy football, gym memberships, clubs, bars, books, coffee shops, etc. We have all these things that we do so we don’t we don’t stay the B-word. Bored. I understand being bored but all of those things I named were being consumed. Nothing was created during this time. Somebody else created it and we’re using it. If everybody is consuming these things, who’s creating them? And what do they do when they get bored? Create perhaps? Well why don’t we spend time creating stuff instead of spending all of these hours out of the week consuming stuff in the name of boredom? Just a random thought.
For all of my life I’ve been called a “know it all”. I’ve always been secretly hated because people think I’m arrogant and blunt. Sometimes somebody is bold enough to be honest and let me know that they dislike me. Some people can’t wait for a chance to “put me in my place”. Especially people that are close to me. I know this and I’m okay with it because I enjoy those moments. Anytime I’m humbled or “put it my place” I’m learning from somebody else. I’m also humanized and people will be able to relate to me better. I’m okay with being embarrassed or humiliated. It’s not the end of the world. I’ve been broke and on probation. Being shamed by somebody is very low on my “What am I afraid of list”.
This is the problem though. I have crazy learning habits that most people don’t have. For instance, wanna know why always sound like a wise ass? After I found out that Proverbs was the book of wisdom, in the Bible, I’ve studied and applied everything I read. I’m not finished or anything but I believe it’s the true book of wisdom and believe the principles never die. Wanna know why I know so much about money? For the last 5 years or so, I’ve been reading books, hearing sermons, watching videos, and listening to daily podcasts about it. Wanna know why I think I’m a good husband? Premarital counseling, Reading, watching videos, hearing sermons, CD’s, marriage classes, etc. And that’s the problem.
I’m not really running around being a know it all. I’m actually full of information after all of the learning and applying I’ve been doing over the years. I’m only sharing them because it has helped me in the past. So if you are out there trying to find some time to bust my bubble, you have a lot of catching up to do. My habits are getting the best of you at this point so kick it in overdrive.
Everybody has these kind of unconscious habits. What’s yours?
When I was kid, anytime I saw something that said ADULT on it I couldn’t fool with. Like I remember going to video stores and them having an entire section labeled ADULT. I don’t think those exist no more. It had a curtain and stuff and all the kids would have to wait in the front part of the store if their parents had to go back there. No problem. But I always knew, whenever I turned 18 I was going back there to see what was up.
I also remember a such thing as an ADULT drink. When I was a kid, people would tell you “You can’t drink that, that’s for grown ups”. Even today we like to call them ADULT beverages. Same thing went for magazines in the store. They had a bunch of regular magazines, then they had magazines with black covers on them. Those are ADULT magazines. Kids weren’t supposed to touch them.
All of these things were marked off and anybody who saw a kid messing with these things could instantly correct them. A stranger would see some kid messing with the magazines, going to the back of the video store, or trying to drink some adult beverage and would make it known that they were out of pocket. Needless to say I got ahold of all of these things well before my 18th birthday. I didn’t go to the back of the video store, but I watched my first of many ADULT movies at my older cousin house. He just used to play them while he cut our hair. We watched them like regular movies too. No manishness involved. (See that word Mannish. As in like a man). Same with the magazines. Prolly got them from the same guy. I also got drinks from my uncles all the time.
Here’s the idea. It seems like all ADULTS do is have sex and drink alcohol. Of course we do way more than that but those seem like the club that you get in when it comes to being an ADULT. As a kid, I aways wondered “What’s in that drink that makes you an adult, what’s behind that curtain, what’s in that magazine?” They should put the ADULT signs in other places that ADULTS go to so that it doesn’t send an incomplete message. There should be an ADULT sign outside the HCAD office for property taxes. Put another one outside the car rental place. Put another one by the propane bar b que pits at home depot. I’m saying we should do this just so kids don’t think all you get to do when you become an adult is fuck and drink. We have a lot more responsibilities than that. Some people don’t participate in any of those things. Some adults have NEVER been in a place that has the word ADULT labeled on it. Some kid may accuse them of NOT being an adult. Just a random thought. Where else should ADULT signs be posted?
Sidenote: I was confused by the 24hr newsstand stand store. I’m like “Who da f-ck wanna read newspapers at night?” Of course I went in and found out AIN’T NO DAMN NEWSPAPER IN THERE!! Lol.
Church this weekend was quite interesting. It was about trying hard in everything you do. It was about only playing to win and not holding back. 2nd place shouldn’t be a comfortable place. And I was convicted. I’m not one of those people that says, “The pastor was talking directly to me.” But I’m definitely smart enough to understanding when I’m not being as wise as I want to be and someone else is pointing it out. Which brings us to this point.
I know I don’t try as hard as I should in all areas of my life. I only try hard in certain essential areas. Marriage, friendship, family, money management, etc. I look at this part of life like a video game. Like you have a certain level of “trying hard” and you tend to allocate it wherever you want to. This means if you add too much in one area, you tend not to have enough in another area. That’s my thought. So I tend to wake up every day and plan what I’m going to be putting 90% to and everything else can get 1% until I make them a priority. Thing is, my 1% is more than enough to cover the basics most of the time.
I’ll even get specific. I don’t give a shit about my appearance. Weight wise, clothes, shoes, hats, jewelry, car washes, none of that. The priority that normally goes there goes to paying bills. This is where things get funky for me. 2 years ago, my doctor told me that I had shitty liver results(from drinking) and said that I needed to lose some weight. My wife was pregnant, and I was scared as hell of dying in front of my family. So I stopped drinking, started exercising, lost a bunch of weight, and the liver tests came back with no problems. During that time, I was firing on all cylinders all the time. My brain was at optimum level as well as everything else. In essence, I tried. I didn’t waste my time too much because I wasn’t drinking but I was also irritable. After the results, I started to drink again, just not as much. My liver tests these days are fine, and I don’t drink as much as I used to, but I gained all my weight back. Don’t feel bad about it at all.
So here’s the thought. In reality I know that there’s not a finite amount of “trying” that people have. Effort doesn’t run out. It’s all about priority. If I place things on a priority, then they get done at optimum levels. If anything, the power multiplies itself and you get more energy. The real reasons I don’t try in everything I do is because I think it would scare the shit out of people. When I go in, I GO IIIIN. And if I started doing that in everything I do how will my wife respond? How will my friends respond? I don’t want to turn super saiyen and lose all my people because “I act like I’m better than them”. I get that now and I’m not even firing on all cylinders. But what if I did? How different would life really be?
As you know, I’m a Christian. I’m not a Christian rapper but I’m a rapping Christian. Most of the fans that I have don’t really have a certain religion they subscribe to. Before everybody gets all tense just know I’m not about to go in on you. I’m fine with your religion or lack thereof. I just have my own. Over the years I’ve learned quite a lot about the Bible and would like to randomly share some things about what convinced me that it’s real.
A) When I think about The Bible as a book, it’s easy to see how it’s totally different than any other book that has ever been written. There’s been talk of Shakespeare writing The Bible. Why don’t people argue over Romeo and Juliet? Why are all the words translated so straight forward and everyone can accept their story but not the one about Jesus. I also don’t think the writing style matches up. There’s a lot more sensationalism that goes into the writing of Shakespeare’s other works. It also reads a lot more poetic not storytellerish.
B) It’s too detailed to be fake. Why add in so many real places and real names if the book was supposed to be fake? Why add the Jordan River and Egypt? Why not make up new names like most other books. And why so MANY details? Why Red Sea, Jarusalem, Damascus, Pharoah, etc. Why such an elaborate made up story? Why not deep space 9 or names like Rumplestillskin? Why John and Mark and not Chubbacca and Schmegle?
C) Why does it describe people’s behavior so well? When Moses was leading the people of Egypt, they were pissed off about being hungry and thirsty. Why would that became such an important part of the book if it was fake? No other book has people griping about being hungry for chapters on chapters. And what about all the instructions? Though shall honor thy mother and father. Though shall not bear false witness. The writers KNEW that people were full of shit and rebellious back then. Why would this just be written to entertain people? Why would this be made up?
D) The Bible has been around for a looooong time now. Why hasn’t anybody “caught” the people who put this all together? Why is this the only book that is so elusive? Oh you think it’s the Catholic church or some Davinci Code bullshit? Even with the way the Davinci Code is written you can tell it’s more for entertainment purposes than what the Bible was written for.
E) What about all the stuff being dug up in the middle east that correlates to some of what’s in the Bible? Nobody is digging up space ships in Arizona. If it was fake, why has more evidence keep popping up over the years?
I have plenty more of these but these are just some things I asked myself about The Bible while questioning.
Do you think like this about other religions? The Torah? The Koran? Whatever the Buddhist people read?
If you’ve been keeping up you’ve known I’ve had the pleasure of having a daughter last year. First kid. I’m also 29 now. I’m almost 30. I’m older, but not old enough for a midlife crisis. (I’m gon make my shit epic.) Needless to say, I’ve lived a little bit of life up to this point. Bought houses, cars, switched jobs, married, graduated, etc. I have a lot more life to live but if you sit me down with the average 22yr old, I can talk to them about some shit. All random facts.
One thing I’ve wandered throughout this year of fatherhood. When will my daughter lose her joy? Will she lose her joy? Will she lose that feeling that she has right now that everything is awesome and anything can be accomplished? Reason I ask this is because I rarely come across people who have true joy. It’s usually because life has start settling in on them and it’s almost like they’ve given up. Like they say “I can’t change the world so I might as well live in it.”
I remember losing mine as a youngster. When I lost it, I became a pessimistic, hopeless wreck of a skeptic. As a result, nothing was going right and my mindset was killing my vibe. When I got around 23, I got it back by learning about the Bible and I BELIEVED it. Now I have a more mature joy. One that can’t be foxed wit. But most of the people I come in contact with don’t have it. So I’m wondering when is Cana going to lose it? When is she going to lose her childish joy that she has right now just so she can fit in wit these muffuccas?
Thinking about that question led me to talk to a 22yr old that still has joy. Most of the 22 yr olds at my job are fresh out of college and are just now making it in the real world. Most didn’t grow up in the hood and still feel like they can change the world. They are full of joy. But when they graduate and get a job, life starts. Then they slowly start losing it. They get married, buy houses, get shitty work schedules, they get told “This is how things work” all the time. Then they lose it.
What did I tell this guy? “You gotta fight for that shit man. You gotta fight like your life depends on it. Cause in the real world people try to take your joy away because their joy is gone. But fuck that! You keep your joy because deep down they wish they still had their joy too. It’s NOT how the real world works. You’re NOT delusional. You’re NOT idealistic. They just can’t dream anymore because they lost THEIR joy. The difference is that now you have to WORK hard to keep it. My daughter doesn’t have to work to keep her joy right now. I handle that. I take care of her. But nobody is going to take care of you. YOU have to do what it takes to fight for your joy that everybody is trying to take from you. You gotta do ALL the work. Your wife can’t do it, your momma can’t do it, your boss can’t do it, nobody. You gotta do it. No laziness. All work. All joy. Thug life!!”
Point: Don’t let these bitches take your joy.